i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize