We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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