I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
