I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
