Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
