I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
