porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
