If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
