I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
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Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
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And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
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