I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
