i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
