Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
