Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
