Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
