why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
