Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You ruined the universe
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
