I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
And then he peed in my hair
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