No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Randomize
