I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize