yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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