I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
