it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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