I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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