Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
