AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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