break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
