I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
