Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize