you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I party with great urgency now.
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