96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
