how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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