is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
We need a shit load of segways right now
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
