May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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