She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Bring me that man meat
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
