running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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