He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
