it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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