I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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