I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
