I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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