Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
