My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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