i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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