Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
