its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
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