I just made out with a guy for $7.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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