Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
why do cheetos always look like penises
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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