apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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