You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Randomize
