I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Randomize
