I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
