Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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