He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
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my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
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No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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