I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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