Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
