Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
