She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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