On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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