I cockslap morals
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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