i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
