You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
