I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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