Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Blood and glitter go together right?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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