I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
