I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
our cab driver is having phone sex.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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